Wearing You
by Ca Rinoa Toki Moro Lockheart
Summary: ::CHAPPY 4::Well, you never know what someone has to deal with unless you take a walk in their shoes...and Vash and Meryl are about to learn this the hard way!
1. How it all started...

A/N: Behold, the kinkiness of my first Trigun humor story! :) Hahahahahaaaaa! Oh BTW, Knives has decided to be *somewhat*tolerant of spiders (as long as he gets to be the superior of the household! ^__~) and Wolfwood is as lively as ever! Also, if I'm not characterizing Knives quite right well…tell me, okay? …………Alright then, here goes…  
  
-Ca and her kitty Sammy =^__^=  
  
Disclaimer: What in the name of Gunsmoke would make you think I owned Trigun? If I owned it, would I be so obsessed with the bishonen on the show? I didn't think so.  
  
~*~ Wearing You ~*~ (Wow, the title's sparkly! ^_^)  
  
It was a quiet afternoon at the small orphanage just outside a village. The village, however, was no longer a village, and was now quite the considerable city. Of course, the city wouldn't have swelled to such a size if it hadn't been for the residence of a certain Typhoon.  
  
Vash had brought Knives home ages ago, which made the insurance girls both giddy with joy and trembling with fear. A day they had all remembered was the one that Knives had awaken…  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Drowsily, Knives awoke to the gentle sound of singing, and the steady fall of water. He bolted up into a sitting position, and looked around. The singing reminded him of Rem…but to hell with the woman! He swung his legs over the edge of his snow-white bed, his legs of lead wobbling beneath him.  
  
'Damn, my legs hurt…' Knives swore as he hobbled around the room. He looked to a door – he could tell the music was from there. The sound of water stopped as he opened the door, bit by bit.  
  
There – stood a woman that looked almost exactly like Rem, only a bit more on the petite side. To tell the truth, the only thing that stunned Knives was how…'bare' the woman was.  
  
"Pervert!" She screamed as she hastily wrapped a mauve colored towel around herself, face as red as Vash's trench coat and looking ready to kill.  
  
"Er…" Knives scratched the back of his head, "Wow Rem, you cut your hair!"  
  
He was answered with much swearing and a hurricane of various bathroom accessories, as well as a stray Kuroneko, "Nyaoooo!"  
  
"Hey! What ever happened to your 'love and peace' crap! Quit!" feeling very out of character, Knives took off as quickly as his sore legs would allow him to, for he also felt that conversation wasn't exactly the first thing on this lady's mind.  
  
Meryl had chased Knives around the house, armed with a hot hair curler. (A/N: Argh, those burn!) Vash and Wolfwood had been conversing amiably and Milly was playing with the children that lived there with them when the two whizzed by.  
  
~Present Time~  
  
The two suns flickered and reflected against Wolfwood's glass as he shook it, the melting ice cubes in it jingling. He grinned with amusement at that memory…the priest nearly laughed out loud as he wondered what Meryl thinks of that day.  
  
Through the kitchen window, he watched Milly bustle about, obviously baking some sweet delights; a heavenly scent wafted from the kitchen. She hummed contentedly as she worked, giving a warm smile as she looked up at Wolfwood resting outside. Ah, how that smile brightened his day…  
  
Wolfwood just had to laugh at the antics of the Orphanage children. They were all trying to get Knives to play dodge ball with them, and Knives was waging a losing battle. Through his dark eyes, Wolfwood murmured the names of each child, "Janus (who detests being called 'Jan'), Febru (Fay for short), Marie, April, Mayflower (May for short), Junie (June for short), July, August, Tember, Tober, Vember, and Cember."  
  
"Those kids are just too cute sometimes!" laughed Meryl. She rose from her chair and added, "Well, I'm off to go help Milly with the baking!"  
  
Vash got up as well, and whispered an…er, 'sweet nothing' into her ear, which made Meryl turn tomato red. He embraced her, and she hugged back, feeling awfully ridiculous in front of Nicholas, "Um... Vash?"  
  
"Mm?" His right hand was making its way down her back.  
  
"I'm just going to go to the kit-! Don't you dare Vash T. Stampede!"  
  
"Hey Vash! If you go any farther you'll be Vash T. Stamped!" Wolfwood couldn't help but insert that comment. (A/N: It's amazing how many times I see his name spelled that way!)  
  
"Aw c'mon, I'm just messing' around!" He attempted to put another move on her, only to get yelled at some more.  
  
"Vash! You quit that right now!"  
  
"Heh, see ya later Nick!"  
  
"See ya." Nick gave a curt wave as Vash bolted into the house, Meryl on his heels. The kids temporarily paused their game with 'Uncle Knives' to watch the two disappear into the house. Knives chortled deeply at Vash's 'mishap' as well as Wolfwood. Of course, Knives' amusement was short lived as the children dragged him into yet another dodge ball 'game'.  
  
Vash was just about to turn the corner into his room when Milly announced, "Doughnuts are ready!"  
  
"Doughnuts?" Vash stopped and turned, a goofy grin on his face 0 only to find Meryl rocketing toward him.  
  
"Augh, move!"  
  
"Wha?"  
  
BOOM. They collided, for Meryl was moving so fast she couldn't put the brakes on soon enough. The two collapsed upon the floor, and all turned black.  
  
A/N: Sorry about that being so short! I'll attempt to make the next chapter longer, but I'm not promising anything. This is just my silly introduction to how everything started…  
  
Knives: I do *not* chortle. I snigger evilly at Vash's misfortunes.  
  
Ca: Whatever you say dear.  
  
Knives: . WHAT????????  
  
Vash: X__x.  
  
Meryl: x__X  
  
Er, riiiight…anyways, was this silly enough? Sorry about Knives' OOCness, but I'll get him into character soon, k? K! Please review and tell me what ya'all think! ^__~ 


	2. Getting Used To New Shoes

A/N: Thank you, thank you! ^__^ I have so many funny images of how this is going to go… Thankies time!  
  
To Akima The Stampede Maxwell: Hee…I'm back! ^.^ Me glad you like! Me continue story! (Continues to rant like a cave woman)  
  
Sammy: Mew. =-_-=  
  
To Lynda-chan: Okay! I thank ye for the motivation! ^O^  
  
To Kiki: Woohoo, fun stories are……………………fun! ^^;  
  
Time to continue!  
  
-Ca and her kitty Sammy =^.^=  
  
~*~ Wearing You ~*~  
  
Slowly, yet surely, Vash regained his consciousness. He shrugged and rolled over to retrieve a doughnut from the kitchen; he was hungry after that long nap. The man's eyes widened at the sight of his room: but it wasn't his!  
  
The little room was so…clean and neat. There weren't any scattered papers or stray laundry, the dresser was spotless and the mahogany wood of it gleamed. Vash yelled out in surprise at the image he saw in the mirror of the dresser. It didn't reflect his image, but showed the petite image of Meryl Stryfe in his place.  
  
"You're lying you stupid mirror!" he yelled out to no one in particular. Quite afraid to, but curious to find if the fact at hand was true, Vash pawed at his chest and looked down, eyes as wide as saucers, "Oh. My. God." If that wasn't enough proof, the sound of Meryl speaking his words had to be.  
  
Vash calmed down for a moment, and pondered about his situation. If…if he looked like Meryl…and was in Meryl's room…would Meryl look like him? He rose from the quilted bed and hurried towards his original space. The Humanoid Typhoon nearly slammed into another wall, not being quite used to such a small and quick frame, not to mention the roof's decision to be higher up.  
  
"Meryl?" Vash had swung the door to his own room to find another turning in response, another that looked exactly like him, "Whoa! I'm in two places at once!"  
  
Meryl put an angry look on 'Vash's' face and grasped Vash's tiny shoulders, "That the hell are you doing in my body?  
  
Vash looked up at Meryl's blazing emerald eyes, "Damn, I'm tall!"  
  
"You baka! How about thinking of ways to find out how the hell we get turned back to normal?"  
  
"Ummmm…I don't know. Do you, Meryl?"  
  
Meryl felt very odd about screaming at her own face, and threw her arms up in exasperation, "You're no help at all!"  
  
Vash's now feminine face donned a thoughtful expression and replied, "Well…we could always ask one of the others for help…"  
  
"No!"  
  
"…Why not?"  
  
"Because!" Meryl considered Vash's suggestion, but hastily rejected it, "That's only a last resort. Besides, you wouldn't want your brother finding out about this, would you?"  
  
He cringed at the notion. Although Vash enjoyed sharing his experiences with Knives (who really didn't enjoy it all that much), Knives would never let Vash live the whole 'being a woman' thing ever.  
  
"Fine."  
  
The two nearly jumped several feet into the air at the sudden call of the Tember and Tober twins, "Auntie Meryl, Uncle Vash! It's dinnertime!"  
  
"Coming!" called Meryl. She smirked smugly at the anxious Vash, "Well, at least attempt to act like me, you baka!"  
  
Ideas of many ways to humiliate Meryl filled Vash's mind as he grinned back, "Why should I?"  
  
"If you don't, I can still make you look more idiotic than you usually do."  
  
"Alright then. You win," agreed Vash. Then, he broadened his smile, and batted his eyelashes, "Oh Vash, you handsome man! Please escort me to the dinner table!"  
  
Meryl slapped the back of Vash's head, but accepted, putting a muscular arm around Vash's, as they ambled into the kitchen.  
  
Knives snorted mirthfully as Meryl and Vash took their seats at the table, "Well it took you two long enough!"  
  
"It's okay Knives, they're here now," replied Milly. She turned to Wolfwood and gave a soft smile, "Would you like to lead the prayer?"  
  
"Sure," answered Wolfwood, and he dipped his face downward and clasped his hands together,  
  
"Thank you God for this meal,  
  
and this cozy, comfy haven.  
  
Let us pray only happiness we feel,  
  
And live together tranquil, amen!"  
  
After much feasting and talking, the youngest orphanage child, Marie, blinked and asked, "Uncle Vash?"  
  
Both Meryl and Vash answered, "What?"  
  
Vash turned a shade of red, remembering that he is supposed to be Meryl, and continued to eat 'daintily'. Meryl cleared her throat and repeated sweetly, "What is it Marie?"  
  
Though hesitantly at first, the shy little girl continued, "Um, why are you sitting in Auntie Meryl's spot?"  
  
Janus looked up and chirped, "Yeah!"  
  
Meryl blinked for a second and looked to her two sides. She was sitting next to the end of the table, the end farthest from the kitchen. She looked to who was sitting at the very end, where Vash sat, posing as her.  
  
Vash peered anxiously at Meryl, searching her for a witty explanation to come back with. Knives, who was now sitting next to Vash, merely declared slyly, "Well I have no complaint with the new seating arrangements."  
  
Meryl's face picked up with a new idea. She laughed heartily, and grinned, "Oh, we just decided to try something different!"  
  
There was silence among the table and Meryl's grin weakened a bit, 'Oh crap, I don't think they bought it…'  
  
"Well…that sounds fair," Nick leaned back in his chair, and gazed at Vash and Meryl thoughtfully.  
  
Vash sighed with relief, and said, "Well, I'm stuffed. That was spectacular, as usual, Milly!"  
  
"Thank you Sempai," replied Milly brightly, "Aren't you going to stay for desert? We're going to have triple chocolate doughnuts tonight."  
  
Meryl immediately spoke up, eyes looking to Vash for a fleeting moment, "Oh, my favorite!"  
  
Vash nearly cracked into pieces and wanted to stay, but caught himself. Meryl never stayed for desert, and always retired to her room before going to sleep. Today was a Friday too, the day that she always worked on her weekly reports. Twitching internally, he replied, "No…th-thanks Milly. I'd rather…not. G'night."  
  
Meryl chuckled quietly as Vash hurried into his new room.  
  
~*~  
  
Vash sat at the edge of his neatly fixed bed, wondering what he should do next. He looked at the digital clock on the nightstand – it read 7:49 PM. Vash knew that around this time, Meryl would stop her reports for Bernadelli and take a break to get ready for bed…which included… Vash chewed his tongue pensively. Brushing his teeth, brushing his hair, and… Vash turned blue at the notion – bathing and getting dressed.  
  
Normally, he'd have no problem with gawking at a female's nudity but there was one little detail that changed his views: he'd be looking at *Meryl* who would actually be *himself* at the time. Vash jumped at the sound of knocking at his door, "Come in."  
  
Meryl stepped in and closed the door behind her. She crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Vash, handing him a doughnut, "I figured since you actually tried to put up an act, I will share my desert with you."  
  
Vash accepted it gratefully, and began to stuff his face with it, "Fankths!"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They sat together in silence, when Vash leaned against Meryl's now broad shoulders. She looked down at him with surprise, but he only snuggled into her arm some more. He looked up at her and smiled, "Well, it's not everyday that I get to be the shorter one; I may as well make the day worth it," he wrinkled his nose and added, "Geez, that coat reeks!"  
  
Meryl shoved him over playfully, "Well of course it does! You're the one who never bothers to get it washed regularly."  
  
Vash stopped for a second, but continued, "In speaking of washing, how exactly are we…?" He trailed off, hoping that Meryl would know what he was talking about.  
  
Instantaneously (A/N: Ooooh, really big word for lil' Ca! ^^), Meryl seemed to catch his drift, and blushed, "Well…I hope we're back to normal before we really need to bathe…" She thought for a while. They could probably get away with skipping a bath for tonight, but the next day…she wasn't too sure about that. Meryl drew a deep breath and answered, "but if we aren't back to normal by tomorrow night, we'll have to, okay?"  
  
Vash nodded in agreement, "Hey, maybe we'll be normal when we wake up in the morning!"  
  
"I sure hope so."  
  
"…Yeah."  
  
Meryl stood up and retrieved her typewriter from her desk, and plunked herself onto the bed again, this time lying down on her stomach. She put some paper into the machine and started to type her Bernadelli reports for the week. Vash watched with curiosity, entranced but the steady clicking of the keys as Meryl typed. He still felt weird about watching himself doing Meryl-ish type things, particularly seeing those big, gloved hands typing so nimbly.  
  
"Are you gonna mention this little…er, dilemma?"  
  
"Huh?" Meryl looked up from her work, "Oh. Well…I doubt if the boss will believe me, but I guess I will."  
  
Vash grew silent. Doing these reports have turned more and more into a habitual journal of sorts, for Meryl. Her boss knew almost everything about her through these, and we emphasize the word 'almost'. There were just some things that Meryl preferred to remain unsaid.  
  
"Done," murmured Meryl, as she collected to completed report. She turned to Vash, "G'night Vash…Vash?"  
  
She beamed warmly at the sight of Vash sound asleep. He looked so peaceful, even if it was her face that reflected it. After placing the report on the dresser, she propped Vash on the pillow and tucked him in. With that being done, she took the reports to her own new room, to retire for the night. 


	3. Saturday Cartoons and Grocery Shopping

A/N: Hi ya'all! ^__^ This is the second chapter I've written in one day, but it's so much fun! There's nothing like writing a humor story to get away from it all…  
  
To Ai_heiwa: It *is* fun isn't it? ^_^ I think I have an idea of what bath time's gonna be like…LOL! (Funny mental image!)  
  
To Millie Wolfwood: Well, I couldn't let the poor guy go without his precious doughnuts, can I? ^^;  
  
To Kiki: ^^ I was taking a shower a couple of days ago with this story in mind and the idea of how kinky it would be if Vash took a shower as Meryl… XD I hope you all are having as good a time reading this as I am writing this!  
  
To Lynda-chan: You were? Whoa… (Goes off into a little world of wonder) …Oh right! I'm not that good at writing humor stories (I'm more psycho than I am funny), but I'm giving it my best shot!  
  
…and nice reviews to top it all off! Thanks you guys! Oh, BTW, here's a chart of the orphanage kids and how old they are, yadda, yadda, yadda…  
  
Janus (boy) 8 yrs.  
  
Febru (girl), 9 yrs.  
  
Marie (girl), 4 yrs.  
  
April (girl), 11 yrs.  
  
Mayflower (girl), 7 yrs.  
  
Junie (boy), 9 yrs.  
  
July (boy), 9 yrs.  
  
August (boy), 13 yrs.  
  
Tember (girl), 6 yrs.  
  
Tober (girl) 6 yrs.  
  
Vember (boy) 10 yrs.  
  
Cember (boy) 10 yrs.  
  
There, now you know how old they all are! ^^; Sorry, I just felt like doing that…  
  
-Ca and her kitty Sammy =^_^=  
  
Meryl lay in her new bed, staring up at the ceiling. Today has been so weird…she wondered how she'd get out of this one.  
  
Meryl had discarded the crimson trench coat and it was now hanging neatly in the closet. Even if that was extremely un-Vash-like, she doubted if anyone cared to look into Vash's closet. She shifted her weight a little bit; how could that man stand wearing this stuffy, black body suit all day? After much squirming, tossing, and turning, Meryl had finally had enough.  
  
She rose from the bed and stumbled around the dark room until she had found where Vash kept all of his shirts and slacks. She didn't go anywhere near the top drawer, from a day of doing and putting away laundry, she knew where the Humanoid Typhoon kept his under garments. Instead, she went for the second drawer. Inside, there were a good assortment of button-up shirts; Meryl pulled out a crème colored one, shut the drawer, and opened the next.  
  
In there, were all of his slacks. She delved through those until she found a pair of green PJ's that Milly had knitted for Vash a couple of Christmas' ago. Meryl looked over her inventory with satisfaction – now for the hard part.  
  
But…where do you start? Meryl had never worn a body suit before, so she wasn't too experienced at taking them off. After a very tedious search, Meryl found a zipper going a little ways down her back. She twisted and turned and curled until it was finally down as far as it would go: halfway down the back. Meryl peeled the right sleeve off. She recoiled a bit at the sight of Vash's many cuts and scars, but persevered and stepped out of the suit, her eyes screwed shut. She dropped the suit to the floor, patted her waists, and opened her eyes again – good, he at least had boxers on. She yanked the shirt and PJ's on and dumped herself back into bed.  
  
Thoughts of Vash seeped into her tired mind. She recalled how sweetly he had smiled at her, and how he had trustingly leaned into her shoulder. Abruptly, Meryl shook her head cleared her mind, 'Woman, you have better things to ponder than that!'  
  
How were they supposed to turn back to normal? Though Vash had suggested that they would return in the morning, she doubted that.  
  
'All these thoughts are giving me a headache…'  
  
Drowsily, two droopy eyelids closed over two weary aqua-green eyes, and Meryl promptly drifted to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
"Uncle Vash, Uncle Vash, wake up!"  
  
"Waphragah…?" Meryl opened her eyes to see the two boys, Junie and July, sitting on her stomach and staring into her face with anticipation, "What is it?"  
  
"Today's Saturday, silly!" responded July, the elder of the two, "It's cartoon morning!"  
  
"Alright. You guys go, I'll be right with you."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
The two hyperactive children scampered out of the room, slamming the door behind them and giggling madly.  
  
Now Meryl remembered – Vash and the orphanage kids always got up extra early on Saturday mornings religiously, to watch cartoons. Occasionally, Wolfwood would join them, but it didn't happen too often; they *did* get up an hour or two before even Milly and Meryl would get up.  
  
Meryl trudged into the living room, dragging a sheet behind her. There, all twelve children were huddled around the television, armed with plushies, pillows, and blankets. Meryl inwardly groaned; Wolfwood was sitting with them, so she had to act extremely carefully. He looked up at her, "G'morning Tongari! You're looking awfully cheerful this morning."  
  
She froze for a second – Meryl had no clue how Vash acted early in the morning. Well…he didn't get up early too often so…  
  
Meryl responded with something that wasn't too intelligible, and Wolfwood just shrugged and patted a spot next to him. She complied and set herself down.  
  
"So…what did you and Meryl talk about yesterday?"  
  
"Eh?" Crap. Yet another aspect of Vash that Meryl wasn't familiar with.  
  
"You heard me. You always tell me, so I'm asking."  
  
"Oh er…" Meryl pondered for a moment and answered slowly, "I figured that she would probably like something to munch on while typing' up her reports…"  
  
Wolfwood's face grew roguish as he prodded onward, "I'm sure it went beyond a bit of doughnut munching with how long you stayed in there."  
  
Meryl could feel her face becoming uncomfortably warm, "Well ah…we er, cuddled a bit and I stuck around to watch her type her report." To make her story sound credible, Meryl quickly added, "It was sorta boring, but I didn't feel like going back to my room."  
  
Wolfwood nodded, looking a little bit disappointed, but withdrew. It was just in time as well, for then May turned around and put a finger to her lips, "Shh! The commercials are over now!"  
  
Meryl grinned and leaned over to Wolfwood and whispered, "Yeah Uncle Nicky! I can't hear when you're talking so loud!"  
  
The two friends broke into a short fit of laughs as Nicholas shoved Meryl aside with mock offence. They both got in trouble with May again as she stood up, pink rabbit plushie in hand, "You two are being vewwy bad boys! Me and Bunni will have to sit in between you so you don't be bad anymore!"  
  
"C'mon May, I can't see!" complained Janus, who was comfortably perched upon a cushy slate-colored couch.  
  
Meryl and Nick saluted May as she sat down between them, "Yes ma'am!"  
  
From time to time, Meryl would glance around the room at the many occupants of the room, and would smile with amusement at how engrossed they were in the misadventures of Neko, the Amazing Super Cat, especially at Wolfwood. Now she knew why Vash and Nick loved this so much; the quiet company of the children was so soothing and made you feel at peace with the world. But while Meryl was enjoying the Saturday morning cartoons, Vash was having problems of his own…  
  
~*~  
  
Vash had been awake for quite a while. He was truly tempted to walk into the living room for cartoons, but knew that Meryl would take him alive if he didn't brush his (or her) hair, and change first. Just great.  
  
He had found her burgundy colored brush and was stroking his midnight-black hair until it was silky and shining. That being done, he approached the dresser. Well…he already had some clean, er, unmentionables on so no worries there… He opened the top drawer and just took out some shirt at random. In another drawer, he yanked out a random skirt.  
  
Woo…the fun part. Vash stripped himself of Meryl's outfit from the day before, revealing a lacey, white bra and silk (Ooooh, how exotic of Meryl! ^^;) panties. He was now blushing profusely and yanked on the clothes he picked out. Vash gaped at the stunning figure that stood before him in the mirror – an elfin young woman clad in a navy blue blouse and a carnation pink skirt. Vash snapped himself out of it and gave a slight frown; pink really wasn't his thing, but he wasn't really in the mood to search for something else.  
  
As he stepped into the living room, Wolfwood looked up and nudged Meryl, whispering, "Someone's looking' hot today," in her ear. Meryl blushed a bit, and Vash got a notion of what he might have said.  
  
"G'morning you guys. Er," Vash concentrated as hard as he could to sound Meryl-ish, "you're all up really early…"  
  
Marie, who had always been very fond of Meryl, sprang from her spot between Febru and April and embraced Vash warmly, "Good morning Auntie Meryl!"  
  
Vash completely forgot his act and returned the hug, grinning his own carefree grin, "Hello princess!" He stooped down a little to meet Marie eye- to-eye, "Didja sleep well?"  
  
"Mm-hm!" Marie's floppy mahogany curls bounced furiously as she nodded.  
  
"Good!" Vash attempted to swoop Marie into his arms, but forgot that Meryl didn't have the immense strength he did. Regardless of that, he still managed, even though it was a bit more work to keep Marie aloft.  
  
"Well," commented Nick, "Looks like our PMS queen has decided to go on vacation, hmm?"  
  
Now Vash knew what Meryl said whenever Wolfwood said something like that, "Oh shut up."  
  
"Good morning everyone!" called the cheerful voice of Milly Thompson, "It seems I slept in today!"  
  
"Aw, that's okay, Mil," replied Meryl. Then, she added, "But some of those blueberry waffles would be great!"  
  
"Okay, I'm off then."  
  
"Wait for us!" called Tember and Tober as the hurried after Milly, "We want to help!"  
  
After a plentiful breakfast of blueberry waffles, orange juice, and apple wedges, Milly handed Meryl a hand-written list, "Mr. Vash, it's your turn to go grocery shopping."  
  
Meryl's eyes flickered over to Vash and she grinned cheerily, "Sure!" She then gazed at Vash, "Meryl, come with me!"  
  
Vash nearly answered far too quickly, but was now sort of enjoying the intricate game he was playing. He sighed, as if annoyed and answered loftily, "Oh, fine."  
  
"Auntie Meryl, can I come too?" Ah, the chirpy chime of Marie.  
  
Wolfwood, who was feeling quite in the joking mood this morning, leaned down to Marie and whispered into her ear, making it only so audible so that Meryl and Vash could hear, "Sorry sweetie, but you can't. Auntie Meryl and Uncle Vash are gonna go do some grown-up things."  
  
Meryl so wanted to slap him. She cracked when she heard her voice yell, "Will not!" Meryl knew she was a pain some of the time, but she did *not* give such child-like responses, "C'mon Va-er, Meryl, we have a lot of shopping to do."  
  
Vash followed behind Meryl like a baby quail, as she strode out the kitchen. Meryl made a double take, and stopped near the door, and replied rather loudly, "We'll just leave Nicholas and Milly to their own little thing."  
  
Once out of the kitchen and in the living room, Marie tugged on April's sleeve.  
  
"What is it, Marie?"  
  
"What kind of grown-up stuff?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Uncle Woofwood said Auntie Meryl and Uncle Vash were gonna do some grown- up stuff."  
  
"Oh, that…" April laughed a little and whispered in Marie's ear.  
  
Marie's eyes widened like saucers as she stared into April's indigo eyes, "That's what they do?" April nodded.  
  
Marie was quiet for a moment when a look that said, 'ew-that's-so-gross' crossed her face, "But boys have cooties!"  
  
~*~  
  
Meryl and Vash were just leaving the general store. Meryl had a mountain of bags in her arms while Vash only had two, "I still don't know why you won't take at least one more bag."  
  
"Oh come on, you *know* you make me carry all of the bags whenever we go grocery shopping. So…I'm just going with the act!" Vash chuckled at his own cleverness as he reached into one of Meryl's bags for a doughnut.  
  
Meryl turned and gave a sly smirk, "If you're going with the act, then no doughnuts before desert!" She plucked a doughnut out of the bag and started to eat it, just to agitate Vash. He looked on with puppy-dog eyes. Meryl looked back at him, heaved a sigh, and gave him a doughnut, "Fine, fine! You win."  
  
"Yay!" Vash accepted the doughnut gratefully.  
  
They walked together down the sidewalk of the dirt road, in silence, when Vash spoke up once more, "Y'know, this isn't so bad."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I think…I think it's sorta fun pretending I'm you."  
  
Oh jeez. Meryl rolled her eyes and answered, "Yeah, well it is sort of fun getting a front-row-seat of how you act every day. I see you have been giving Nick details of whenever we'd hug or kiss."  
  
"E…eheh…"  
  
"-and from the sounds of it, you've been telling tall tales."  
  
"Erm…sorry?"  
  
Meryl nudged his shoulder, "Apology accepted, as long as it doesn't happen again."  
  
"Okay."  
  
They were almost at the door to the house when Vash spoke again, "How was today's episode of 'Neko the Amazing Super Cat?'"  
  
The two friends laughed amiably as the flock of kids came out of the house to help with the groceries.  
  
A/N: Weeeeee, how wazzat? I know exactly what I'm going to do in the next chappy! ^^; Oh, and for any of you who have seen the Tenchi series, the orphanage is built like that, but the downstairs floor has more rooms. Wondering why I said that? Well you won't know 'til the next chapter! Bwahaha, I'm soooooo evil!  
  
Knives: Not really.  
  
Ca: *Starts to bawl* I know, but I'm trying my hardest!  
  
Knives: Bah, stupid spider. -_- 


	4. Baths in Hot Springs and Late Night Conv...

A/N: OMG, you guys are giving me soooooo many good ideas! If I use some of the ideas you guys put down, I'll say so in the end of the chapter I used it k? Kewlies!  
  
To Akima The Stampede Maxwell: Awwwww, s'ok. :) Thankies so much, I appreciate it! (Seriously, I really do!)  
  
To Ai_heiwa: Woohoo, idea alert! I have a funny image of a funny battle…LOL…and a funny, probing conversation as well… XD  
  
To Kiki: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! I *AM* the evilest author in the whole wide world! I am invincible! No one can –  
  
Knives: Oh shut *up* already!  
  
Ca: WAAAAH! ;___; *Starts sobbing hysterically*  
  
Knives: Spare me. *Hands her a hanky*  
  
Ca: Yayzers! ^_^  
  
To Lynda-chan: *Gasp!* Yooooo called me a wench, I'm so hurt! ;o; (J/K) Evil scenarios are fun! ^___________^  
  
Mwahaha…the kinkiness continues! Aaaaaand you'll all find out why I mentioned the Masaki household! LOL, be prepared for extreme Knives OOCness!  
  
-Ca and her sleepy kitty =-o-=  
  
It was 4:00 in the evening. Meryl was quite bored at the time, but most of all, she felt positively filthy.  
  
The woman was used to taking her baths daily for crying out loud! A full day of grocery shopping, roughhousing with August, Vember, and Cember, and having a mud fight with all the younger kids wasn't exactly her idea of fun. Of course, it was, especially when she could act as silly as she wished and everyone would accept it as average Vash behavior. But back to the issue at hand.  
  
She was in Knives' room with Knives and Wolfwood, and the three of them had been playing card games and talking for the past hour. But now…they were just bored stiff. Meryl had had enough of this – she was getting a bath, and she was getting one now.  
  
Meryl got up and excused herself, "You guys can stay here for now, but I'm gonna go get washed up before dinner."  
  
Responses of 'sure' and 'whatever' confirmed their approval and she left for Vash's room. Once in there, she chose a new outfit (A/N: The third today! :o) that would suffice for comfortable PJ's. Right before leaving the room, she did a double take: new boxers. With much hesitation, she pulled the top drawer open and took out a new pair that just happened to be white with navy blue stripes. (So I have a mental image of Vash wearing' those, so sue me! -D)  
  
Casually, she strolled down the hall into the room where they had two little hot springs. They were both walled off, of course – one was for the girls and women and the other was for the boys and men. After taking a deep breath, Meryl stepped into the guys' one – good, no one was in there.  
  
Eyes screwed shut like earlier before, she stripped herself down to bare skin. She pawed around for a towel and wrapped it around her abdomen. Meryl felt so out of place, but then again, she didn't get to be a guy very often either. She took the soap stuff and a loofa (That's what it's called, isn't it?) and stepped into the water. She crossed it until she was at the opposite end, set the stuff down, and settled into a spot.  
  
After easily washing Vash's blonde locks and the, er, complicated process of scrubbing her skin clean, she just lay down and relaxed. The spring really wasn't that big, but it was comfy. There were a few little indoor trees and plants that Milly had insisted on decorating the room with. She must have fallen asleep, for Meryl hadn't seen another surprise coming –  
  
There was much laughter and Meryl's eyes jolted open with a start.  
  
"Geez Vash, you sleep like a stone!" laughed Knives, "Wolfwood must have splashed your face a dozen times before he decided to get out and jump in!"  
  
"Wha-?" Meryl looked up and felt herself redden again. There stood Vash's twin brother – clad in nothing but a towel, and Wolfwood lounging at the end opposite of her; she was sure he was, er, 'dressed' similarly, "What the hell are you guys doing here?"  
  
Nicholas raised an eyebrow, "Oh, did his majesty wish to be alone? We figured that cards weren't as much fun without you so we decided to join you." He sighed, trying to seem dejected, and added, "But if you want us to leave…"  
  
"No, that's okay."  
  
"Good, cuz I probably wouldn't leave you alone anyways!" Knives laughed and jumped in as well, warm water washing over Meryl. The two waded closer to her and set themselves down on each side.  
  
'Crap, crap, cra-ap!' sang Meryl in her head. Why the hell did she let them stay? She was now officially in foreign territory; how was she to know how Vash acted in the bath?  
  
"So," started Knives, a devious glint in his eyes, "Anything interesting happen today, oh dearest brother of mine?"  
  
"Oh, cut the crap, Knives!" replied Meryl, playfully swatting the back of his head.  
  
"But seriously!" Wolfwood decided to join in – oh happy day.  
  
She sighed with an agitated tone; men are such perverts. Then, she answered sharply, "Why do you guys keep bothering *me*? Wolfwood, why don't you fill us in on your day?" Meryl felt a pang of guilt – now she was ragging on Milly.  
  
"Sure, why not?" Oh no, Meryl had the feeling that Wolfwood was going to put in details…  
  
…and she was right. Knives laughed out loud a little, and Meryl just couldn't contain herself – she slapped him strong and hard on the cheek. (A/N: The face cheek you pervs! ^^; Okay, I just *had* to say that…) Knives just gaped at her with a look that said 'what the hell was that for', and she froze. Crap! She had forgotten all about the 'act-like-Vash' game.  
  
"You…you guys shouldn't joke around with stuff like that… It's…mean." Ooooh, smooth one.  
  
Wolfwood put a hand to Meryl's forehead, "Vash? Are you okay?"  
  
She was agitated now, "What do you mean, 'am I okay'? I'm fine!"  
  
"I don't think so!" added Knives, "You're acting, well, waaaay too differently as of late!"  
  
Oh no…what to do? It was too early on in the game to let the guys figure it out…she couldn't let that happen! Damn, and she was expecting Vash to slip up first…  
  
The three 'men' sat in silence for a while, which was good for Meryl. That bought time for thoughts of how to be Vash. Then – it came! Whenever Vash didn't have any other way out…  
  
Meryl waded forward and turned around to face Nick and Knives. She crossed her fingers that funny way Vash always did and started to laugh, almost maniacally, "I was wondering when you guys figured it out! I was testing to see if you were paying attention!"  
  
Wolfwood whispered something to Knives, who nodded in affirmation. The two advanced upon Meryl, and dunked her into the water. After reemerging once again, Meryl sputtered out, "What was that for?"  
  
"For being such a baka!"  
  
"Yeah, well take this!" Meryl dunked Wolfwood into the water, with the aid of Knives. This continued on, until the three were heaving for breath, out of it from being under the water and laughing so hard.  
  
"Uncles?"  
  
"What?" Nick and Knives looked up, and the voice had surprised Meryl. There, Janus stood in the doorway, "Auntie Milly says that dinner's ready."  
  
"Alrighty thanks Janus! Tell Auntie Milly that we're coming!" Wolfwood rose from the water.  
  
"Okay." Janus scampered off.  
  
The three of them were out of the water and were scrubbing themselves dry with other towels. Meryl was in quite a hurry to get dressed; she didn't really wish to see Nicholas and Knives in the bare.  
  
"Geez Vash, you must be starved, with how much you're hurrying!" teased Knives, punching Meryl in the back.  
  
"Er…yeah," Meryl avoided eye contact while she buttoned up her shirt.  
  
She completed her task and was out the door, the voice of Nick calling after her, "Save some food for us, okay!"  
  
Feeling relieved and refreshed, Meryl had recovered her wit, "You'll just have to hurry, now won't you?"  
  
As Meryl entered the kitchen, Vash approached her and handed over a small piece of paper, "We're having spaghetti for dinner."  
  
Meryl nodded and answered, "Sounds good!" She grinned and leaned over to give Vash a peck on the cheek whispering, "Well, I've got to pretend I'm you, ne?"  
  
Vash pretended to scoff in response and helped Milly set the table. Meryl took her seat and read the paper that Vash gave her:  
  
'Meet me in my (or yours, whatever) room at around 10:00PM, k? Don't want anyone getting suspishus.'  
  
Meryl clicked her tongue at his scrawled-out handwriting and the misspelling of 'suspicious'. Honestly… She looked up to see Vash looking at her in the corner of his eye, and she nodded at him. He grinned, and sat down in the seat he had before, the one farthest from the kitchen. Everyone arrived for dinner, Wolfwood recited the prayer again, and dinnertime was as if nothing was different.  
  
~*~  
  
Vash was lying on his stomach on the bed; he was waiting for Meryl. At first, a whole day with just Milly had sounded quite dull, but was actually pretty entertaining.  
  
She did a lot of interacting with the younger children and the girls. Vash smiled warmly; this was quite a nice vacation from his average crazed life with Wolfwood and Knives. He read a couple of stories to Marie, Tember, Tober, and May, who were engrossed in the expressive way he told them. After that, the little girls had dragged him and Milly into playing dolls with them. They were acting a sort of love story out with the dolls, and Vash was the one who got all the guy dolls. Vash got the strangest feeling the dolls looked similar to some of the boys' GI Joes, but he didn't say anything about it.  
  
He wondered how Meryl was managing…he hoped the guys weren't giving her too rough a time. After thinking about Meryl's appearance to dinner hours ago, a thought struck him. Her hair had been all wet – which obviously meant…Vash turned a shade of pink, when the door to his room cracked open a bit.  
  
"Vash?"  
  
"Come in."  
  
Meryl entered and shut the door behind her, coming over to sit next to Vash like before, "I was thinking…"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Well, I think we should have a little conference every night. Y'know, to tell each other about your day so they can tell you how to handle it in the future."  
  
"Oh…alright!" Vash's face brightened as he changed position, now sitting cross-legged, "That sounds like a good idea. Um…anything you'd like to share?" He felt so much like a psychiatrist right now.  
  
"Hmmm…well, I had an interesting conversation in the bath today…" Meryl started. She turned to Vash, who just nodded for her to continue, "Honestly, are you three such perverts 24/7?"  
  
Vash laughed, but hushed a bit, "Well, it's usually me, Wolfwood eggs me on, and occasionally Knives joins in so he's not left out."  
  
"Oh, so that's why they looked at me funny when I slapped Knives for saying something!"  
  
"You slapped Knives?" mirth was bubbling up inside of Vash, and he was really having a difficult time holding it in, "Now that had to give you away! Imagine that, me using Meryl's copyrighted bitch-slap!"  
  
"Yeah, well you're about to get one if you don't stop while you're ahead."  
  
"Alright, alright. Other than that, the guys didn't give you too much trouble, right?"  
  
"Actually, they were fairly civil…" Meryl grinned and she added, "…for men anyways."  
  
"I'm hurt." Vash pulled off a puppy-dog face and nuzzled the front of Meryl's button-up.  
  
Meryl played along, "Oh, I'm so sorry." She looked down at Vash, who was still pulling off the puppy-dog, "Geez, you know how weird it looks to see myself snuggling *you* of all people?"  
  
Vash leaned his back against the headboard and gazed at Meryl, "Oh come on, you *know* you're in denial!"  
  
"Phah, you wish."  
  
"Hn." Vash reached behind his pillow and pulled out a bag of doughnuts, which Meryl promptly confiscated, "Hey! What was that for?"  
  
"*You*," replied Meryl, "Are not going to stuff your face with pastries all day and get me fat!"  
  
Vash snatched the doughnuts back, "Yeah well, you aren't going to get me fat either!"  
  
"You've been practically inhaling the things for 120 years, I'm sure you can handle a few more." Meryl was tugging on the bag, Vash at the other end.  
  
"Geez, you don't need to get touchy about it," Vash let go, causing Meryl to fly out of her spot.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Vash only chuckled in response as Meryl resumed sitting in her place next to him.  
  
"Vash-?"  
  
"What?" This was it; he leaned over a bit expectantly.  
  
"You stink. Take a bath."  
  
Vash fell backwards anime-style. A sweat drop to his head, "But what about…?"  
  
"Oh, get over it. I've already taken one," responded Meryl a bit roughly, "And besides, I'm not going to keep my body from getting proper hygiene, even if you're the one in it."  
  
"Okay." Vash yawned a bit, and leaned on Meryl's shoulder again. He stared into space for a while, and said thoughtfully, "I wonder when we'll be back to normal."  
  
"Beats me…" Meryl replied absent-mindedly. Her eyes drooped a little, the peaceful atmosphere lulling her. The lamp had a warm orange-yellow glow to it, and the crickets chirped harmoniously outside. As the clock stroke 10:27, the two fell asleep in the serenity.  
  
A/N: *gasp!* They're wasting electricity! :o (J/K) Anywayz, sorry that I couldn't get the chapter out sooner, but my internet access was cut off for some odd reason…Hn… *gasp* I have the 'First Donuts' soundtrack now! :D Ca b reeeeeeeeeeally happy! Weeeeee… Credits to Ai_heiwa for giving me the doughnut argument idea! ^__^ 


End file.
